Drone Assisted Delivery:
Jet Optimised Kinetic Engagement System
Our R&D division, Passel Labs, is constantly working on new, exciting, disruptive, game-changing innovations in the temporal-spatial predictive delivery space.
While some things are simply unique, such as guaranteed 3-hour delivery 364 days a year, retail return optimisation and a 99.94% in full on-time delivery rate, we know that cutting-edge technological advances are necessary to maintain our unique value proposition to all stakeholders.
We are proud to announce that, commencing today, Monday, April 1, 2019, Passel will begin offering our Passers the option of engaging a drone to assist with delivery.
Drone Assisted Delivery is a Jet Optimised Kinetic Engagement System that allows Passers to skip the necessities of walking, riding, driving or catching public transport while they make a delivery on their way home from stores like Dymocks, Purebaby and Pookipoiga.
Simply put, Passers will be able to book a drone to carry them home when making a delivery. The drone will be guided in real time using a proprietary VR environment immersed within an AR quantum computing matrix, powered by a hybrid cloud neural network.
Although not licensed or yet legal in any of our Australian markets, nor Belfast and Dublin, Passel will adopt the time-honoured startup strategy of launching where and when we want, without consultation from local government, fisheries and wildlife, or the people who make electricity poles.
DAD: JOKES will use a cutting-edge blockchain renewable energy self-sustaining unobtanium battery technology that has the added advantage of not sounding like a swarm of angry bees or the opening scenes of Saving Private Ryan.
Unfortunately, due to weight and size limitations, DAD: JOKES will be unable to deliver anything larger than a Polly Waffle, or anything weighing more than a hot air balloon.
For further enquiries, please visit www.passeldelivery.com.